I’m sitting in the weekly staff meeting. Sally, who normally reports our team status, is late because of a flat tire. When Sally’s agenda slot comes up, the boss doesn’t skip as I had expected. Instead, she turns to me and says, “Brian, why don’t you give us the update for your team.”
Time is frozen. A thousand thoughts rush through my mind. I am not ready for this. Everybody is looking at me. What are they going to think of me? What am I going to say? It’s then that I utter those fateful words: “I’m not really prepared, but…” I just started my impromptu status report with an apology. Ouch!
It doesn’t always happen at a staff meeting. Unexpected questions come our way in all aspects of our lives. At work. At school. At church. At the playground. The truth is that we are having impromptu conversations all day, every day. We don’t freak out when a friend asks us about the ballgame last night, but we often do panic when the stakes are higher.
When we get asked that question at the meeting or are otherwise asked to speak on short notice, I believe that one of the most common mistakes we make out of nervousness is to apologize unnecessarily.
Apologies are appropriate when we spill coffee on someone or are late. If something like this happens, apologize with sincerity. The problem is that apologies are not appropriate if they are about our lack of preparedness, nervousness, or lack of skill. Apologizing unnecessarily damages our credibility–especially at the beginning of our impromptu remarks. We often put our audience on alert for things that they might not notice if we hadn’t apologized.
In our Toastmasters <http://www.toastmasters.org> club meetings, we practice impromptu speaking. Often participants that showed no signs of nervousness during the meeting will admit later that they were really nervous. Nervousness frequently doesn’t show on the outside even when the alarm bells are clanging in our ears. Opening with, “I’m sorry. I’m kind of nervous,” often serves to reveal something no one would have noticed!
Consider the “first impression” posts I’ve written previously in this space. What kind of first impression does, “I’m not really prepared to tell you about this,” make? Our audience will either tune out or become detectives looking for evidence to use against us. We want our audience focused on the information or message, not our behavior.
Consider also the “last impression” when we’re done speaking. If we finish our talk with a phrase like, “I hope I didn’t waste your time,” we’re seeding doubts in the minds of our audience members. “Was he really worth listening to? Can we trust what he said?” Is that really the kind of “last impression” we want to leave?
IMPORTANT: I’m not suggesting that we lie or put on some kind of false front. We must always use our communication powers for good! Faking it can do far more damage to our credibility than a bad first impression.
If we’re asked for information that we don’t know, we should admit it, ask questions about the subject to show interest and to get the information we need to follow-up, and offer to get back to them when we have the answer. A simple, “I don’t have that information. Would it be okay for me to get back with you after the meeting? What was the account number again?” will leave our audience with a very positive impression of us as someone who can think on their feet, is honest, and knows how to get answers when necessary.
It is important that we maximize the chances for our message to get across and that we’ll be perceived as the competent leaders that we are!
Posted by briancastelli 
